Valentines Day, for want of a better word, SUCKS when you are single.
All of your single friends who are telling you that they are like, beyond glad they don't have to spend money on shitty gifts and shitty dinners are L Y I N G!
They are lying to both you and to themselves.
They are lying because whilst yes, Valentines day is a holiday created entirely to make money, it also really is impossible not to feel soul destoryingly alone when you have been bombarded with nothing but love hearts and roses since the clock struck 12 on New Years Eve.
You can't help it, I mean, you know that when you are with someone, you should make them feel like everyday is Valentines Day, but it doesn't change the fact that you don't have that at the moment. Chocolates on your pillow and soppy cards may be lame, but unless you are completely made of stone, you can't help but feel sad that you don't get to be a part of it.
Therefore, since this year I am firmly in camp single and convincing myself that I would rather spend this day with a bottle of wine anyway, I would like to share the love with the amazing people who complete my life. They remind me every day that it all gets easier with time.
It really is true what they say, relationships come and go but, family and friends, those idiots are here forever. Sometimes it take something traumatic to make you see just how much you really have. It happened 8 years ago when my family got turned upside down, it happened when we lost my Nonno, and it happened when my heart broke for the first time. Each and every single one of those events, and all the little ones in between, have made me realise just how lucky I actually am.
My family and friends are 110% the best people I know.
They don't feel like it, but sometimes break ups are miracles in disguise. I'm not saying they are easy, because they're not. Even if things appear to end mutually, no party walks away unscathed, especially not when it's your first. Break ups literally make you cry ALL of the time and yet they help you see who's there to wipe away the tears. It'll probably surprise you who those people actually are.
I'm a self confessed crazy person, but there are this amazing group of people who surround me and never leave. No matter how many dumb, drunk, DELIRIOUS decisions I make; they stay. No matter if they disagree with my actions or think I'm acting like a child; they stay. They aren't afraid to tell me to get my head out of my arse. They aren't afraid to slap me across the face and tell me to wake up and smell the coffee despite knowing that by doing that, they will then have to watch me cry some more.
These are the people that weather the storm with you. They are your parents and your best friends and your housemates and you colleagues. They are the most wonderful things you have and they are so better than flowers from a person who may or may not be here at Christmas.
I'm not saying that being in a relationship wasn't wonderful because it was and whenever the time is right, it will be again. Relationships are magical even if they don't work out how you wanted because they teach more about yourself than you ever thought possible. You can't regret them, I certainly don't. It's just really important to remember that if they end, you really haven't lost everything, despite it feeling that way.
So, Happy Valentines Day, you incredible bunch.
I love you and you're stuck with me, so ha!
-xo
Friday 14 February 2014
Sunday 9 February 2014
Oh Dear, Ms Greer
Disappointment, we all know that feeling. Whether it's the shop being all out of your fave chocolate bar, being let down last minute or someone doing something that totally shocks you, disappointment is rubbish.
But what happens when someone, a public figure, says something that so largely contradicts everything you thought they stood for?
If you don’t know who Germaine Greer is, you’ve either never really been that into feminism, never studied ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’ or have just generally been under a rock for the past few decades. Writer of ‘The Female Eunuch’, Germaine Greer is one of the world’s ‘super feminists’. So when she wrote back in 2010 that Page 3 of The Sun wasn’t all that harmful, you couldn’t help but feel that a mother of the feminist movement had kicked you in the proverbial balls.
Last Tuesday, 4th February 2014, at ‘An Audience with Germaine Greer’, 16 year old Kathryn (who hasn’t even taken her GCSEs) sat and listened to a lecture Greer was giving on breast cancer, cosmetic surgery and image issues faced by women. At the end of the lecture, Greer opened the room up to questions, and a journalist asked Greer if she had heard of NMP3 and what her thoughts were on it. Greer (the swine) replied that she thought Page 3 was totally innocent and that it was only bought by old men (lies, I think Greer lives in some sort of bubble, anyway…) and that it was nothing in comparison to the porn that’s available online anyway.
Firstly, Ms Greer, I think you’re a traitor to the cause here. I studied you at 16 after reading Atwood and thought you were this fabulous voice of reason and now, now I just think you’re a hypocrite.
And it would appear that I’m not alone. Following Greer’s response, Kathryn got given the mic, stood up and quite calmly stated,
'I am a full supporter of no more page 3. Page three is part of mainstream culture and sexualises and objectifies women shamelessly, and is essentially a gate way into hardcore pornography. If this 'soft porn' is openly available in mainstream culture, then it makes it seem like looking at the more hardcore porn is acceptable. How can you not support a campaign that is trying to shut that down, and how can you call it innocent?'
The whole room applauded.
And it says a lot.
SHE IS 16! 16!
A 16 year old girl stood up in front of Germaine BLOODY Greer and a room full of A2 Sociology students (I repeat, she hasn’t even sat her GCSEs yet) and spoke her mind. Not only did she speak her mind, but she said the words on the lips of thousands of young women up and down this country and across the world who are BORED of being objectified on a day to day basis and being told it’s all ‘harmless’.
I wish I’d been that brave at 16. I wish I’d had the guts to stand up and shout back when told that I was over reacting about the boys who branded my friends ‘sluts’ because they’d kissed someone at a party… Hell, I wish I’d had that much courage 9 months ago when I was bartending and customers felt it perfectly ok to comment on my chest when making their cocktails as if I wasn’t even there at all.
Germaine Greer is meant to be a feminist figure head. She should be at the forefront of a campaign that is trying to end the daily objectification of young women. Porn and Page 3, simply cannot be compared in my books. You go looking for porn, you know what you are doing, you’ve made the conscious decision to watch it. Same goes for when you buy a ‘lad mag’. You know what you’re looking at. People buy The Sun because it is a newspaper, Ms Greer, they buy it because, presumably, they want to know what is going in the world. Therefore, please, please, PLEASE tell me how this image of a young woman, boobs akimbo, on the third page of a NEWSPAPER is in anyway innocent, because I’m obviously missing the point here.
I mean, Page 3 has become so damn normalised that even one of the world’s leading feminists thinks it’s ok!
We live in a society where, when the lights get dimmed and music goes up, it is ok to see women as objects. Where girls are taught that if they go out alone in the dark they risk being attacked and where the media has no issues using the bodies of women to sell whatever product the latest big cooperation has invented.
We need more Kathryn’s. We need more young women (and men) who see the things that need to changed and aren’t afraid to challenge those who stand in their way.
Young girls are starting to find their voices. The idea that Page 3 out dated is no longer the fight of middle aged, middle class women with little more to do. We’re finding our voices, and we’re using them.
So society should be prepared that we won’t be silenced until it’s an equal playing field out there…
Greer, I’m talking to you.
But what happens when someone, a public figure, says something that so largely contradicts everything you thought they stood for?
If you don’t know who Germaine Greer is, you’ve either never really been that into feminism, never studied ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’ or have just generally been under a rock for the past few decades. Writer of ‘The Female Eunuch’, Germaine Greer is one of the world’s ‘super feminists’. So when she wrote back in 2010 that Page 3 of The Sun wasn’t all that harmful, you couldn’t help but feel that a mother of the feminist movement had kicked you in the proverbial balls.
Last Tuesday, 4th February 2014, at ‘An Audience with Germaine Greer’, 16 year old Kathryn (who hasn’t even taken her GCSEs) sat and listened to a lecture Greer was giving on breast cancer, cosmetic surgery and image issues faced by women. At the end of the lecture, Greer opened the room up to questions, and a journalist asked Greer if she had heard of NMP3 and what her thoughts were on it. Greer (the swine) replied that she thought Page 3 was totally innocent and that it was only bought by old men (lies, I think Greer lives in some sort of bubble, anyway…) and that it was nothing in comparison to the porn that’s available online anyway.
Firstly, Ms Greer, I think you’re a traitor to the cause here. I studied you at 16 after reading Atwood and thought you were this fabulous voice of reason and now, now I just think you’re a hypocrite.
And it would appear that I’m not alone. Following Greer’s response, Kathryn got given the mic, stood up and quite calmly stated,
'I am a full supporter of no more page 3. Page three is part of mainstream culture and sexualises and objectifies women shamelessly, and is essentially a gate way into hardcore pornography. If this 'soft porn' is openly available in mainstream culture, then it makes it seem like looking at the more hardcore porn is acceptable. How can you not support a campaign that is trying to shut that down, and how can you call it innocent?'
The whole room applauded.
And it says a lot.
SHE IS 16! 16!
A 16 year old girl stood up in front of Germaine BLOODY Greer and a room full of A2 Sociology students (I repeat, she hasn’t even sat her GCSEs yet) and spoke her mind. Not only did she speak her mind, but she said the words on the lips of thousands of young women up and down this country and across the world who are BORED of being objectified on a day to day basis and being told it’s all ‘harmless’.
I wish I’d been that brave at 16. I wish I’d had the guts to stand up and shout back when told that I was over reacting about the boys who branded my friends ‘sluts’ because they’d kissed someone at a party… Hell, I wish I’d had that much courage 9 months ago when I was bartending and customers felt it perfectly ok to comment on my chest when making their cocktails as if I wasn’t even there at all.
Germaine Greer is meant to be a feminist figure head. She should be at the forefront of a campaign that is trying to end the daily objectification of young women. Porn and Page 3, simply cannot be compared in my books. You go looking for porn, you know what you are doing, you’ve made the conscious decision to watch it. Same goes for when you buy a ‘lad mag’. You know what you’re looking at. People buy The Sun because it is a newspaper, Ms Greer, they buy it because, presumably, they want to know what is going in the world. Therefore, please, please, PLEASE tell me how this image of a young woman, boobs akimbo, on the third page of a NEWSPAPER is in anyway innocent, because I’m obviously missing the point here.
I mean, Page 3 has become so damn normalised that even one of the world’s leading feminists thinks it’s ok!
We live in a society where, when the lights get dimmed and music goes up, it is ok to see women as objects. Where girls are taught that if they go out alone in the dark they risk being attacked and where the media has no issues using the bodies of women to sell whatever product the latest big cooperation has invented.
We need more Kathryn’s. We need more young women (and men) who see the things that need to changed and aren’t afraid to challenge those who stand in their way.
Young girls are starting to find their voices. The idea that Page 3 out dated is no longer the fight of middle aged, middle class women with little more to do. We’re finding our voices, and we’re using them.
So society should be prepared that we won’t be silenced until it’s an equal playing field out there…
Greer, I’m talking to you.
Thursday 6 February 2014
Up The Creek, No Paddle In Sight
I have writers block.
Monumental, humongous writers block.
It's ruining my life.
HOW am I meant to do my creative writing dissertation and have my own blogging empire if I have bloody WRITERS BLOCK?!
Absolutely giving up.
My dissertation is drivel. It's rubbish. Great authors everywhere are turning in their graves at the absolute nonsense I am writing. I graduate in THREE MONTHS and all I have for a life plan is that by this time next year, I want to be on my way to sunnier grounds.
I can't do this.
Coco Chanel had a plan.
Monroe had a plan...
Even Sarah sodding Palin had a plan!
Hayley Devlin? No plan. Not a plan in sight.
All I really want to do is graduate with a 2:1, but unless this writers block kindly does one, I might not even make that.
It's happened.
Third Year has finally driven me to insanity.
- Hayley xo
Monumental, humongous writers block.
It's ruining my life.
HOW am I meant to do my creative writing dissertation and have my own blogging empire if I have bloody WRITERS BLOCK?!
Absolutely giving up.
My dissertation is drivel. It's rubbish. Great authors everywhere are turning in their graves at the absolute nonsense I am writing. I graduate in THREE MONTHS and all I have for a life plan is that by this time next year, I want to be on my way to sunnier grounds.
I can't do this.
Coco Chanel had a plan.
Monroe had a plan...
Even Sarah sodding Palin had a plan!
Hayley Devlin? No plan. Not a plan in sight.
All I really want to do is graduate with a 2:1, but unless this writers block kindly does one, I might not even make that.
It's happened.
Third Year has finally driven me to insanity.
- Hayley xo
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