Valentines Day, for want of a better word, SUCKS when you are single.
All of your single friends who are telling you that they are like, beyond glad they don't have to spend money on shitty gifts and shitty dinners are L Y I N G!
They are lying to both you and to themselves.
They are lying because whilst yes, Valentines day is a holiday created entirely to make money, it also really is impossible not to feel soul destoryingly alone when you have been bombarded with nothing but love hearts and roses since the clock struck 12 on New Years Eve.
You can't help it, I mean, you know that when you are with someone, you should make them feel like everyday is Valentines Day, but it doesn't change the fact that you don't have that at the moment. Chocolates on your pillow and soppy cards may be lame, but unless you are completely made of stone, you can't help but feel sad that you don't get to be a part of it.
Therefore, since this year I am firmly in camp single and convincing myself that I would rather spend this day with a bottle of wine anyway, I would like to share the love with the amazing people who complete my life. They remind me every day that it all gets easier with time.
It really is true what they say, relationships come and go but, family and friends, those idiots are here forever. Sometimes it take something traumatic to make you see just how much you really have. It happened 8 years ago when my family got turned upside down, it happened when we lost my Nonno, and it happened when my heart broke for the first time. Each and every single one of those events, and all the little ones in between, have made me realise just how lucky I actually am.
My family and friends are 110% the best people I know.
They don't feel like it, but sometimes break ups are miracles in disguise. I'm not saying they are easy, because they're not. Even if things appear to end mutually, no party walks away unscathed, especially not when it's your first. Break ups literally make you cry ALL of the time and yet they help you see who's there to wipe away the tears. It'll probably surprise you who those people actually are.
I'm a self confessed crazy person, but there are this amazing group of people who surround me and never leave. No matter how many dumb, drunk, DELIRIOUS decisions I make; they stay. No matter if they disagree with my actions or think I'm acting like a child; they stay. They aren't afraid to tell me to get my head out of my arse. They aren't afraid to slap me across the face and tell me to wake up and smell the coffee despite knowing that by doing that, they will then have to watch me cry some more.
These are the people that weather the storm with you. They are your parents and your best friends and your housemates and you colleagues. They are the most wonderful things you have and they are so better than flowers from a person who may or may not be here at Christmas.
I'm not saying that being in a relationship wasn't wonderful because it was and whenever the time is right, it will be again. Relationships are magical even if they don't work out how you wanted because they teach more about yourself than you ever thought possible. You can't regret them, I certainly don't. It's just really important to remember that if they end, you really haven't lost everything, despite it feeling that way.
So, Happy Valentines Day, you incredible bunch.
I love you and you're stuck with me, so ha!
-xo
Friday, 14 February 2014
Sunday, 9 February 2014
Oh Dear, Ms Greer
Disappointment, we all know that feeling. Whether it's the shop being all out of your fave chocolate bar, being let down last minute or someone doing something that totally shocks you, disappointment is rubbish.
But what happens when someone, a public figure, says something that so largely contradicts everything you thought they stood for?
If you don’t know who Germaine Greer is, you’ve either never really been that into feminism, never studied ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’ or have just generally been under a rock for the past few decades. Writer of ‘The Female Eunuch’, Germaine Greer is one of the world’s ‘super feminists’. So when she wrote back in 2010 that Page 3 of The Sun wasn’t all that harmful, you couldn’t help but feel that a mother of the feminist movement had kicked you in the proverbial balls.
Last Tuesday, 4th February 2014, at ‘An Audience with Germaine Greer’, 16 year old Kathryn (who hasn’t even taken her GCSEs) sat and listened to a lecture Greer was giving on breast cancer, cosmetic surgery and image issues faced by women. At the end of the lecture, Greer opened the room up to questions, and a journalist asked Greer if she had heard of NMP3 and what her thoughts were on it. Greer (the swine) replied that she thought Page 3 was totally innocent and that it was only bought by old men (lies, I think Greer lives in some sort of bubble, anyway…) and that it was nothing in comparison to the porn that’s available online anyway.
Firstly, Ms Greer, I think you’re a traitor to the cause here. I studied you at 16 after reading Atwood and thought you were this fabulous voice of reason and now, now I just think you’re a hypocrite.
And it would appear that I’m not alone. Following Greer’s response, Kathryn got given the mic, stood up and quite calmly stated,
'I am a full supporter of no more page 3. Page three is part of mainstream culture and sexualises and objectifies women shamelessly, and is essentially a gate way into hardcore pornography. If this 'soft porn' is openly available in mainstream culture, then it makes it seem like looking at the more hardcore porn is acceptable. How can you not support a campaign that is trying to shut that down, and how can you call it innocent?'
The whole room applauded.
And it says a lot.
SHE IS 16! 16!
A 16 year old girl stood up in front of Germaine BLOODY Greer and a room full of A2 Sociology students (I repeat, she hasn’t even sat her GCSEs yet) and spoke her mind. Not only did she speak her mind, but she said the words on the lips of thousands of young women up and down this country and across the world who are BORED of being objectified on a day to day basis and being told it’s all ‘harmless’.
I wish I’d been that brave at 16. I wish I’d had the guts to stand up and shout back when told that I was over reacting about the boys who branded my friends ‘sluts’ because they’d kissed someone at a party… Hell, I wish I’d had that much courage 9 months ago when I was bartending and customers felt it perfectly ok to comment on my chest when making their cocktails as if I wasn’t even there at all.
Germaine Greer is meant to be a feminist figure head. She should be at the forefront of a campaign that is trying to end the daily objectification of young women. Porn and Page 3, simply cannot be compared in my books. You go looking for porn, you know what you are doing, you’ve made the conscious decision to watch it. Same goes for when you buy a ‘lad mag’. You know what you’re looking at. People buy The Sun because it is a newspaper, Ms Greer, they buy it because, presumably, they want to know what is going in the world. Therefore, please, please, PLEASE tell me how this image of a young woman, boobs akimbo, on the third page of a NEWSPAPER is in anyway innocent, because I’m obviously missing the point here.
I mean, Page 3 has become so damn normalised that even one of the world’s leading feminists thinks it’s ok!
We live in a society where, when the lights get dimmed and music goes up, it is ok to see women as objects. Where girls are taught that if they go out alone in the dark they risk being attacked and where the media has no issues using the bodies of women to sell whatever product the latest big cooperation has invented.
We need more Kathryn’s. We need more young women (and men) who see the things that need to changed and aren’t afraid to challenge those who stand in their way.
Young girls are starting to find their voices. The idea that Page 3 out dated is no longer the fight of middle aged, middle class women with little more to do. We’re finding our voices, and we’re using them.
So society should be prepared that we won’t be silenced until it’s an equal playing field out there…
Greer, I’m talking to you.
But what happens when someone, a public figure, says something that so largely contradicts everything you thought they stood for?
If you don’t know who Germaine Greer is, you’ve either never really been that into feminism, never studied ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’ or have just generally been under a rock for the past few decades. Writer of ‘The Female Eunuch’, Germaine Greer is one of the world’s ‘super feminists’. So when she wrote back in 2010 that Page 3 of The Sun wasn’t all that harmful, you couldn’t help but feel that a mother of the feminist movement had kicked you in the proverbial balls.
Last Tuesday, 4th February 2014, at ‘An Audience with Germaine Greer’, 16 year old Kathryn (who hasn’t even taken her GCSEs) sat and listened to a lecture Greer was giving on breast cancer, cosmetic surgery and image issues faced by women. At the end of the lecture, Greer opened the room up to questions, and a journalist asked Greer if she had heard of NMP3 and what her thoughts were on it. Greer (the swine) replied that she thought Page 3 was totally innocent and that it was only bought by old men (lies, I think Greer lives in some sort of bubble, anyway…) and that it was nothing in comparison to the porn that’s available online anyway.
Firstly, Ms Greer, I think you’re a traitor to the cause here. I studied you at 16 after reading Atwood and thought you were this fabulous voice of reason and now, now I just think you’re a hypocrite.
And it would appear that I’m not alone. Following Greer’s response, Kathryn got given the mic, stood up and quite calmly stated,
'I am a full supporter of no more page 3. Page three is part of mainstream culture and sexualises and objectifies women shamelessly, and is essentially a gate way into hardcore pornography. If this 'soft porn' is openly available in mainstream culture, then it makes it seem like looking at the more hardcore porn is acceptable. How can you not support a campaign that is trying to shut that down, and how can you call it innocent?'
The whole room applauded.
And it says a lot.
SHE IS 16! 16!
A 16 year old girl stood up in front of Germaine BLOODY Greer and a room full of A2 Sociology students (I repeat, she hasn’t even sat her GCSEs yet) and spoke her mind. Not only did she speak her mind, but she said the words on the lips of thousands of young women up and down this country and across the world who are BORED of being objectified on a day to day basis and being told it’s all ‘harmless’.
I wish I’d been that brave at 16. I wish I’d had the guts to stand up and shout back when told that I was over reacting about the boys who branded my friends ‘sluts’ because they’d kissed someone at a party… Hell, I wish I’d had that much courage 9 months ago when I was bartending and customers felt it perfectly ok to comment on my chest when making their cocktails as if I wasn’t even there at all.
Germaine Greer is meant to be a feminist figure head. She should be at the forefront of a campaign that is trying to end the daily objectification of young women. Porn and Page 3, simply cannot be compared in my books. You go looking for porn, you know what you are doing, you’ve made the conscious decision to watch it. Same goes for when you buy a ‘lad mag’. You know what you’re looking at. People buy The Sun because it is a newspaper, Ms Greer, they buy it because, presumably, they want to know what is going in the world. Therefore, please, please, PLEASE tell me how this image of a young woman, boobs akimbo, on the third page of a NEWSPAPER is in anyway innocent, because I’m obviously missing the point here.
I mean, Page 3 has become so damn normalised that even one of the world’s leading feminists thinks it’s ok!
We live in a society where, when the lights get dimmed and music goes up, it is ok to see women as objects. Where girls are taught that if they go out alone in the dark they risk being attacked and where the media has no issues using the bodies of women to sell whatever product the latest big cooperation has invented.
We need more Kathryn’s. We need more young women (and men) who see the things that need to changed and aren’t afraid to challenge those who stand in their way.
Young girls are starting to find their voices. The idea that Page 3 out dated is no longer the fight of middle aged, middle class women with little more to do. We’re finding our voices, and we’re using them.
So society should be prepared that we won’t be silenced until it’s an equal playing field out there…
Greer, I’m talking to you.
Thursday, 6 February 2014
Up The Creek, No Paddle In Sight
I have writers block.
Monumental, humongous writers block.
It's ruining my life.
HOW am I meant to do my creative writing dissertation and have my own blogging empire if I have bloody WRITERS BLOCK?!
Absolutely giving up.
My dissertation is drivel. It's rubbish. Great authors everywhere are turning in their graves at the absolute nonsense I am writing. I graduate in THREE MONTHS and all I have for a life plan is that by this time next year, I want to be on my way to sunnier grounds.
I can't do this.
Coco Chanel had a plan.
Monroe had a plan...
Even Sarah sodding Palin had a plan!
Hayley Devlin? No plan. Not a plan in sight.
All I really want to do is graduate with a 2:1, but unless this writers block kindly does one, I might not even make that.
It's happened.
Third Year has finally driven me to insanity.
- Hayley xo
Monumental, humongous writers block.
It's ruining my life.
HOW am I meant to do my creative writing dissertation and have my own blogging empire if I have bloody WRITERS BLOCK?!
Absolutely giving up.
My dissertation is drivel. It's rubbish. Great authors everywhere are turning in their graves at the absolute nonsense I am writing. I graduate in THREE MONTHS and all I have for a life plan is that by this time next year, I want to be on my way to sunnier grounds.
I can't do this.
Coco Chanel had a plan.
Monroe had a plan...
Even Sarah sodding Palin had a plan!
Hayley Devlin? No plan. Not a plan in sight.
All I really want to do is graduate with a 2:1, but unless this writers block kindly does one, I might not even make that.
It's happened.
Third Year has finally driven me to insanity.
- Hayley xo
Monday, 2 December 2013
A Splash of Love
If you have been anywhere near the internet today, you will not need me to tell you what all the fuss is about...
Team GB Medallist, Tom Daley, has announced that he is in a relationship. A relationship with a man.
Almost as soon as Daley had tweeted the link to his video announcement, choruses of 'I told you so!' and 'I knew it!' could be heard from miles around. Despite the fact that he never once labelled himself within the video, it has been decided: Tom Daley is gay.
Firstly it should be recognised that he has not, come out as gay. He has come out with the news that he has fallen for someone and that someone just so happens to be male. He has admitted he still fancies girls, which would make him Bisexual and bisexuality is not something that should be shrugged off as 'not a thing'. It should be accepted just the same way being singularly attracted to girls or singularly attracted to guys is.
Tom's confession, although not really that much of a big deal (I mean, surely he is allowed to love whoever the hell he wants, right?) has left many people wondering why he even needed to bring it up anyway. It is 2013 and this is modern Britain. The fact that one of UKs most beloved and cherished sports stars is in a gay relationship should have nothing to do with how we view him as a human being. It should not still be 'a thing' when a person 'comes out'. It saddens me that we still live in a world a person is distinguished by who they fall in love with.
Daley's actions today were, without a doubt, brave... and this is someone who throws themselves (gracefully) head first into a pit of water from 10m up. Despite the fact that I am straight and would never claim to fully understand the fear a person must feel in the years, months, weeks and days leading up to telling the people around them that they are gay, I will say this; admitting you have fallen for someone is TERRIFYING.
The first time I was really honest about my feeling towards my boyfriend, it made me feel almost sick. Its just not the kind of thing you can take back. Once you admit to falling for or loving someone, once you put that out there into the universe, you cannot have it back. I cannot imagine what it must feel like then, to face the fact that you are in love alongside the fact that there are going to be people condemning you for having those feelings at all. Even Daley admitted that, upon telling his wider family, it created a mixed reaction.
It is wonderful, that in a society that still sees such high levels of homophobic bullying, a young, talented star has been brave enough to step forward and say 'This is who I am'. We need more people like Daley to step up and say 'it's ok to fall for someone who makes you feel happy and safe, even if they are the same sex as you', so that young people all over the world have role models they can look up too. Being a teenager is hard enough without limitations being put on who we are expected to fall in love with.
Fact of the matter is, Daley's news in no way changes the fact that he is a credit to our nation as a sports personality nor it does not affect his ability to leap and flip through the air into diving pools and countless medals in sporting events around the world. We should still want him to get to Rio 2016 and bring back medals. As a nation we should support him as an athlete because that is what he works so God damn hard for.
I hope you're relationship is a happy one, Tom. Falling in love is such a special and momentous thing, and I for one, am happy to support love in a world that appears so filled with hate.
- xo
If you haven't seen his video, check it out here.
Team GB Medallist, Tom Daley, has announced that he is in a relationship. A relationship with a man.
Almost as soon as Daley had tweeted the link to his video announcement, choruses of 'I told you so!' and 'I knew it!' could be heard from miles around. Despite the fact that he never once labelled himself within the video, it has been decided: Tom Daley is gay.
Firstly it should be recognised that he has not, come out as gay. He has come out with the news that he has fallen for someone and that someone just so happens to be male. He has admitted he still fancies girls, which would make him Bisexual and bisexuality is not something that should be shrugged off as 'not a thing'. It should be accepted just the same way being singularly attracted to girls or singularly attracted to guys is.
Tom's confession, although not really that much of a big deal (I mean, surely he is allowed to love whoever the hell he wants, right?) has left many people wondering why he even needed to bring it up anyway. It is 2013 and this is modern Britain. The fact that one of UKs most beloved and cherished sports stars is in a gay relationship should have nothing to do with how we view him as a human being. It should not still be 'a thing' when a person 'comes out'. It saddens me that we still live in a world a person is distinguished by who they fall in love with.
Daley's actions today were, without a doubt, brave... and this is someone who throws themselves (gracefully) head first into a pit of water from 10m up. Despite the fact that I am straight and would never claim to fully understand the fear a person must feel in the years, months, weeks and days leading up to telling the people around them that they are gay, I will say this; admitting you have fallen for someone is TERRIFYING.
The first time I was really honest about my feeling towards my boyfriend, it made me feel almost sick. Its just not the kind of thing you can take back. Once you admit to falling for or loving someone, once you put that out there into the universe, you cannot have it back. I cannot imagine what it must feel like then, to face the fact that you are in love alongside the fact that there are going to be people condemning you for having those feelings at all. Even Daley admitted that, upon telling his wider family, it created a mixed reaction.
It is wonderful, that in a society that still sees such high levels of homophobic bullying, a young, talented star has been brave enough to step forward and say 'This is who I am'. We need more people like Daley to step up and say 'it's ok to fall for someone who makes you feel happy and safe, even if they are the same sex as you', so that young people all over the world have role models they can look up too. Being a teenager is hard enough without limitations being put on who we are expected to fall in love with.
Fact of the matter is, Daley's news in no way changes the fact that he is a credit to our nation as a sports personality nor it does not affect his ability to leap and flip through the air into diving pools and countless medals in sporting events around the world. We should still want him to get to Rio 2016 and bring back medals. As a nation we should support him as an athlete because that is what he works so God damn hard for.
I hope you're relationship is a happy one, Tom. Falling in love is such a special and momentous thing, and I for one, am happy to support love in a world that appears so filled with hate.
- xo
If you haven't seen his video, check it out here.
Friday, 22 November 2013
Size of Merit
On Thursday 21st November 2013, half the nation (this may be a slight exaggeration) tuned in to watch everyone's favorite TV Christmas countdown. - No, X Factor, not you - I'm a Celebrity...Get Me Out Of Here!
As per, this year's camp contains a handful of soap stars, a washed up 90s throwback (Sorry Carlton, we still love you), a few TV hosts, the required Glamour Model-esque female, a reality TV star... and an Olympic Gold Medalist?!
Stop the Press! You mean to say this year's camp mates contain a person who might just be worth her fame?
Groundbreaking, ITV, simply ground breaking.
There is no doubt that Rebecca Adlington is one of this countries greatest sweethearts, swimming her way in by winning us two gold medals at the 2008 Beijing Olympics. As a young, and completely un-athletic female, Becky Adlington is up there with Jessica Ennis, Dame Kelly Holmes and Paula Radcliffe on my awe-scale. I can't commit to what I'm going to have for dinner, let alone to a single sport for more than half my life. To me, and to many others, these women are truly remarkable; they show determination, grit, poise, elegance and there is not one of them I wouldn't love to call my mate.
So I know I am not alone in saying that watching Ms Adlington break down over the fact that she feels she is not beautiful enough, broke my heart and struck so many chords.
This years Camp beauty is Amy Willerton, Miss Universe GB. Amy is many things young girls aspire to be, beautiful, bubbly and, to the surprise of so many, actually pretty intelligent. It was only a matter of time before the morality of beauty pageants and whether or not they are 'good' was brought up. Personally, I believe Beauty Pageants just, are what they are. Whilst I don't agree that women should be treated as objects they do seem to do some good, The Miss World Organisation has raised more that £250 million for children's charities since it begun and, it's true, the girls genuinely do chose to be up there. So in the same way that female dancers and glamour models and porn stars use what their Mumma's gave them, Beauty Queens should be allowed to, too.
However, I think there is something seriously, SERIOUSLY wrong if a women who dedicated her life to a discipline and won this country two GOLD MEDALS feels inferior to a Jordan Price castoff, Beauty Queen. I'm not saying that winning a beauty contest is easy, because it isn't and I would by no means win one, but I REFUSE to be told that it is anywhere near as hard as winning any Olympic medal.
So what if Becky Adlington hasn't got a perfect nose, or a size 8 waist?!
SHE'S A GOLD MEDALIST! Not to mention the fact that she's a genuinely lovely human being.
How many of you can call yourselves perfect?!
Didn't think so.
When you strip it down to the basics the fact that society's messed up idea of what a woman should be has affected her too should be ringing alarm bells to everyone. Few had heard of Amy Willerton before I'm a Celeb, but Rebecca Adlington has been a household name for years and yet I wonder who, upon leaving the Jungle, will be granted more page space and air time...?
It's sad, and disheartening and ever more true that it is high time we start valuing human beings on what they have achieved, not the size of their waists.
- xo
Wednesday, 13 November 2013
Take It Off/Keep It On
If you have been shocked at any entertainment news since this year's VMAs all I have to ask you is which rock have you been living under since the 80s?!
The following things are not NEW or SCANDALOUS:
- Sexualisation of the youth.
- Girls in music videos in very little clothing.
- Black girls in music videos in very little clothing.
- Men singing about 'honeys they would like to fuck'.
- Men having 'honeys they would like to fuck' in very little clothing in their music videos.
- Women being used as objects of sexual desire.
- Slut shaming.
- The fact that sex sells.
- The fact that, for whatever reason, naked ladies manage to sell.
- Women making themselves sexy.
- Women getting naked in their own music videos.
- Provocative dancing.
- Women not exactly liking the fact that they are constantly represented as 'honeys the boys would like to fuck'.
- Drugs.
Now here is a list of things that ARE new:
- The term 'twerking'
Therefore I would like to pose you all this question:
Why, in light of recent events, is everyone so up in arms about half naked young stars who want to own their sexuality?
Madonna and Britney were at it years ago...
How has it always been perfectly OK for Rappers to dress up their music videos with half naked girls, humping cars like dogs on heat, yet it not be OK for Miley to step on stage and point a foam finger at her crotch? Literally, the whole universe reacted like she's stepped on stage and stabbed a small puppy. She was turned into a monster.
Why can Robin Thicke have naked girls in his music video but Lily Allen does it ironically and everyone seems to miss the point?
What is wrong with you, society?! What do you want from us?!
I'm glad Miley keeps taking her clothes off and sparking up in public places, I'm glad Rihanna gyrates on a giant throne and I'm glad Lily is willing to call out every person, every where who keeps trying to put women, their sexuality and their worth in boxes.
These three women, although doing very different things, are all getting at the same point. I'm gonna go ahead and say it here that yes, I think Miley has done wonders for feminism.
Shoot me, but I do.
Mostly I think that the fact that being a feminist has such awful connotation is ridiculous. Essentially to be a feminist is to be a humanitarian, so why all feminist are obviously asexual, man hating lesbians is beyond me.
Some of us don't want to burn our bras because they are Agent Provocateur and they make us happy, thank you very much and good day to you sir!
By making the choice to get on stage and do what she did, Miley simply stepped up and showed everyone that maybe, just maybe, women don't need Rap stars to undress them and get their hips moving; sometimes we like to do it for ourselves. Equally by Lily keeping her clothes on and singing the word 'bitch' over and over again whilst a group of scantily clad ladies danced about behind her, she was showing us that maybe we don't always want to take our clothes off either and that's just fine too.
.
Let women take their clothes off or let women keep their clothes on.
Teach your daughters that it's THEIR choice to make and teach your sons to respect that choice.
And for the love of God, someone please tell Robin Thicke they own heels bigger than his dick.
- xo
Monday, 14 October 2013
Blind 3rd Year Panic
Following a wonderful summer, where I was obvz just too busy to write and keep you all updated with my fabulous life*, I have started my third and final year at University. Terrifying.
I three weeks ago and so far I am floating somewhere between complete denial and utter panic. Every now and again I catch myself thinking about what I'll be up to this time next year, when it smacks me that, I don't actually know yet. Which then sends me off frantically thinking about the fact that I have to write a good dissertation and get at least a 2:1 in everything I had in this year or I will have, for want of better words, totally ballsed it up.
I mean, third year is A LOT to take on. I know, I know, lazy student voice coming into play here, but it is. I have three units which will all require at least two 3000 word essay (bar one, which requires an exam in May - great), then I have that all important 8000 word creative dissertation to write as well. Creative Dissertation, sounds easy enough really, doesn't it? Not like I've got to do loads of critical research or anything? Wrong. Just, wrong. I have so much to do I could cry. I've written 1,300 words already... but by the time it's been redrafted I'll probably only end up using one or two sentences from the original draft...
I mean, can't I just print off all my tweets and hand them in, instead? I think they very creatively tell the story of a young girls plight to try and shield her absolute insanity from the world. It could even be accompanied by one or two of my posts off here...
Mind you, the examiner might send the men with the straight jackets for me if they were to read all of my tweets in one... I'm surprised none of my followers have yet, to be honest...
Currently I feel like I'm drowning in it all. How is possibly the middle of October already? Will my sanity and patience (mostly my patience) last through til Christmas? Or by that point, will I have completely turned to the wine bottle to ease my ills?
I have no idea, I just hope that, for the first time ever, my organisational skills come out to play and that I am able to keep on top of everything.
How hard can it be, plenty of people graduate with good degrees and go on to be successful, why shouldn't I be one of the?
And for the love of God, what on earth am I going to write my dissertation on...?
- Hayley xo
*Alright, so my life isn't so fab. I had horrible writers block and spent most of summer working, seeing family and being drunk and musical festivals. Such fun.
PS- Boyfriend and I still good!
I three weeks ago and so far I am floating somewhere between complete denial and utter panic. Every now and again I catch myself thinking about what I'll be up to this time next year, when it smacks me that, I don't actually know yet. Which then sends me off frantically thinking about the fact that I have to write a good dissertation and get at least a 2:1 in everything I had in this year or I will have, for want of better words, totally ballsed it up.
I mean, third year is A LOT to take on. I know, I know, lazy student voice coming into play here, but it is. I have three units which will all require at least two 3000 word essay (bar one, which requires an exam in May - great), then I have that all important 8000 word creative dissertation to write as well. Creative Dissertation, sounds easy enough really, doesn't it? Not like I've got to do loads of critical research or anything? Wrong. Just, wrong. I have so much to do I could cry. I've written 1,300 words already... but by the time it's been redrafted I'll probably only end up using one or two sentences from the original draft...
I mean, can't I just print off all my tweets and hand them in, instead? I think they very creatively tell the story of a young girls plight to try and shield her absolute insanity from the world. It could even be accompanied by one or two of my posts off here...
Mind you, the examiner might send the men with the straight jackets for me if they were to read all of my tweets in one... I'm surprised none of my followers have yet, to be honest...
Currently I feel like I'm drowning in it all. How is possibly the middle of October already? Will my sanity and patience (mostly my patience) last through til Christmas? Or by that point, will I have completely turned to the wine bottle to ease my ills?
I have no idea, I just hope that, for the first time ever, my organisational skills come out to play and that I am able to keep on top of everything.
How hard can it be, plenty of people graduate with good degrees and go on to be successful, why shouldn't I be one of the?
And for the love of God, what on earth am I going to write my dissertation on...?
- Hayley xo
*Alright, so my life isn't so fab. I had horrible writers block and spent most of summer working, seeing family and being drunk and musical festivals. Such fun.
PS- Boyfriend and I still good!
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